Is Delhi Safe For Women?

Is Delhi safe for women is a question doing the rounds these day. News channels, newspapers, social networking sites, drawing room conversations. It's all over.

I am from Delhi, I am a woman and I think Delhi is as safe for women as any other place in India or around the world. Is there any one place in the world where you can say a woman is safe? I think not!

Now please don't think that I am saying it's safe.....that's not the point of this post. I'm just wanting to tell you how, being a woman, I decide what risks I take and what I don't in order to live my life.

For a woman, in India, there is no place 100% safe. There are loads of statistics of incest, rape in marriage, dowry deaths, harassment at work.....I could go on but you've got the picture. It all depends on what a man around you is thinking or feeling.

Being a woman, I'v had to take a conscious decision about what I do or not do in order to make myself feel safe. Yes I drive around late at night, yes I wear clothes which might be termed as "provocative", yes I party, and I do all that NOT because I think I'm safe.....I do it because I do not want to live my life in a restricted way.

Sure I get nervous, sure I feel like slapping a guy who looks at me the wrong way but what is the option? Cover myself, stay home, live a life which is "safe" and boring. I think not. Instead I put my faith in God, keep my eyes and ears open, be very very alert and try to live my life to the fullest. Because it's not about Delhi or Mumbai or Bangalore......it can happen anywhere because men in our country think brute force is the one and only weapon they have to dominate women and prove they're superior.

Disclaimer : My aim is not to offend any man who reads this post. I have a ton of really wonderful friends who are men, who are perfect gentlemen, who reinforce my faith in men and give me the courage to live life on my own terms :)

Question Without An Answer

There are questions and there are answers but at times there are questions which really have no answers. You can go round and round and round and you still come up with naught.

It's just a random thought so please don't go into a tizzy thinking I have some unanswered question in life. But I'm just thinking or rather writing aloud as to why certain questions get you no answers, mainly in the way people react and behave.

You meet someone and he/she seem really nice. All is well and hunky dory and suddenly you see a side which leaves you totally stumped. You're left wondering what you missed the whole time you thought you knew him/her. It seems so alien and no matter how much you dissect your knowledge of that particular person you generally never figure it out.

I've seen it with friends, friends of friends. I've spent countless hours questioning or listening to someone question this strange phenomenon. And after all the bheja fry you eventually end up saying to yourself......this question has no answer.

It's Dillogical

What's most important......heart or mind? Logically I would say the mind but a lot of times the heart takes over and we become dillogical.

I normally pride myself as someone in control of my emotions and reacting logically to most situations life throws at me. As I said....most of the time. But there are those few times when my heart takes over and totally throws my mind and all logical thought out of the window.

Is that good or bad? Again logically I would say it's bad since when we are emotional we only go by what we feel and our decisions are based on emotion. We do not think or react by weighing the pros n cons of a given situations. But hey.....we are all human beings and need to remember that when we get dillogical :)

Make Or Break

It takes so much time to make something and just minutes to break it. All that goes into it becomes naught!

That's a sad truth of life. Be it relationships, buildings or a business. Relationships were more on my mind when I thought about writing this post but now that I think more along these lines....it applies to everything in life.

It took minutes to bring the twin towers down. An accident could totally smash to pieces a brand new car. A business gone under becomes impossible to revive. Relationships once broken can never be the same again.

So much effort goes into a relationship. Time, energy, love, affection, and sometimes it all ends with nothing left to show for it. Just a bunch of memories. This is true for every kind of relationship...friends or lovers and sometimes even family. A word, deed, greed or worst, lack of feeling, unravels even the strongest bond.

I wonder why we are so helpless to prevent things like this from happening in a relationship. Is it our fault? For being blind and not seeing what's before our eyes or does it change suddenly.

You can know someone for years and suddenly realize that you don't know the person at all. You don't even like the kind of person he or she has become. You watched it all happen and still didn't see. At that point of enlightenment the thread snaps and that's the end. Gone forever.

Can we do something? Probably not. I'm a fatalist and believe it's all in God's hand. Everything happens for a reason. A lot of you will disagree but that's my personal point of view. So I do my best to make and if God decides to break.......I just go with the flow.

Zindagi

Zindagi...kaisi hai paheli haaye, Kabhi to hansaaye kabhi ye rulaaye, Zindagi.....

Have been humming this song all day....don’t know where it came from and I wasn’t even consciously thinking about it. Suddenly I registered the words and thought to myself....how true!

Life is such a puzzle.....in a span of moments we go from one emotion to another. Take my day today for example...have been like a yoyo, my mood changing moment to moment. I remember feeling a bit lost in the evening for no reason at all. I distracted myself and got into a better frame of mind and then got a work call which totally wound me up again. So many ups and downs which never last.....constantly changing. Zindagi.... :)

PS : For all those who don’t know which song I am talking about.....here it is from Anand.

Heaven...

Today is a one of those rare days when I'm home alone and totally enjoying my solitude. Doesn't happen often in my house since the family always feels "baby" should not be left alone.

Awesome weather in Delhi, lots of rain and cool. Sitting without the fan, drinking endless cups of earl grey chai , listening to my most favorite slow romantic numbers and thinking my own thoughts.

Heaven...

My Most Favorite Poem

I am not a big fan of poetry. I just don't get it. Unless it's very simple and rhymes. But there is this one poem by Sarojini Naidu which I love.

I love it because it speaks of life.....a life which is difficult at times. It talks about how everything passes especially the bad and the ugly, of new dreams and beginnings and hope. So I thought I'd share it on the blog.

This is something I always recite to myself when the going gets really really tough and I also have this irritating habit of sending it to all those friends who I feel are in need of a little pepping up. So here it goes......... :)

Transience

Nay, do not grieve tho' life be full of sadness,
Dawn will not veil her splendour for your grief,
Nor spring deny their bright, appointed beauty
To lotus blossom and ashoka leaf.

Nay, do not pine, tho' life be dark with trouble,
Time will not pause or tarry on his way;
To-day that seems so long, so strange, so bitter,
Will soon be some forgotten yesterday.

Nay, do not weep; new hopes, new dreams, new faces,
The unspent joy of all the unborn years,
Will prove your heart a traitor to its sorrow,
And make your eyes unfaithful to their tears.

Sarojini Naidu

Life Is A Bitch

Life can be a real bitch. And it is......most times.

New twists and turns down an unknown path. Tempting us with what we cannot have. Possibilities that never become realities. Yearnings that last forever.

It gives you a glimpse of heaven only to take it away. It never lets you forget the moment you let slip away. Right or wrong it's forever gone. All you are left with is life and it is a BITCH!

Why?

We the people, are such strange strange creatures. Seriously! And that includes me.

We all have our moments of joy and sorrow. When joy is visiting we never ever ask why...but when sorrow comes calling, our first question is WHY?

Why this contradiction.....why are we made like this? At a time when we are at our lowest.....this question haunts our mind, plunging us deeper into sorrow. It happens with every single one of us. Most of us question.....whyyyyyy???

I wish God had fixed this particular default in our system. It would have made life a lot easier.....not to have to wonder why.